If the truth were to be told...being married is hard. I mean you have to work to have a good marriage, you have to really work to have a great marriage.
Up until the past year I would probably say that our first year of marriage was the hardest. We were young when we tied the knot. I had just moved to a new town, with a new husband (well my only husband,) a new job, trying to meet new friends and on top of all of this I was still really young in my faith and Jesus still had a lot of healing to do in my heart. So putting all of that together it was a hard year, but we survived.
Then time passes, 7 years, one baby, new schools, new friends, starting a business, house projects, vacations, family drama, and yet still it felt at times like I was still walking a path in the dark at times (like the picture above.) My heart was hurting, in many ways our marriage was hurting. I mean don't get me wrong many times I asked Jesus to fix me, fix us, but that was the problem...I simply didn't know what needed to get fixed.
Many times my friends suggested I/we see a counselor. And I thought about it but more than anything it was a pride thing for me, me need help, naw, that's for weak people with major issues. Sigh. But things continued to get harder and I still felt stuck, so this past year back in November I took the first step. It was a hard step, but a step that rocked my world, my heart and inevitably...my marriage.
If you've ever been in counseling you know it's hard at first, you have to get all the junk on the table...that...is...so...hard! But I had it all out and this sweet counselor, who I know Jesus put in my life/ our lives helped Matt and I figure out where the holes in our hearts and to help us get to the place of true Healing. I know now that healing is a process and don't get me wrong there are days, moments, when we/ I still struggle, but now I have tools to help me make it through. And the best part is that now we have a friend who can help us when we get stuck again, and that is such a comforting feeling.
I say all this to say...if you have ever had that thought, " I should see a counselor, we should see a counselor, that might be helpful." Please get in touch with me, I truly believe that healing comes from Jesus, but sometimes we need an earthly vessel to help us along the journey!
I think this really was a small miracle for me, for us and it's just what they're chatting about today over at Chatting at the sky!
6 comments:
What a great reminder that sometimes we need a little guidance and an objective voice to mediate and show the way.
I second Whitney's support of seeking out counseling (as a counselor, I'm biased of course)!
wow. I can sense that this was hard for you to write. I'm so glad that counseling has helped you! :)
Thanks so much for sharing your heart & being open! One of the hardest things about marriage is that (rarely) does anyone else admit how HARD IT IS! There is comfort in knowing we aren't alone in the struggle--and you've shown such wisdom here in seeking perspective through counseling.
Our church began a "Marriage" small group last year, and it is the coolest thing ever...we all range in age from 20s to 70s and it's ended up helping ALL of us involved and is very therapeutic. You hit the nail on the head by saying that marriage is hard - I've learned from the older, wiser couples in our group that it's even hard for believers who are strong in their faith. I guess part of it is that you learn very quickly in marriage that "love is not enough," and all of the expectations may not be met by your spouse or both parties. ANYWAY, I've always been a big fan of yours, Whit, and I'm even more of a fan now! You're so transparent and I appreciate that and thanks for sweet reminders and encouragement -whether you realize the impact you have or not on your friends and audience! Love, Haley
mom says 'healthy people seek help". I agree. my only problem is that all the counselors I know are crazy :)
I love y'alls story. very touching.
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